SKU: 22202415245

The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes) (Guides to Villainy and Love)

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Description

The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes) (Guides to Villainy and Love)A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realms most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier. Whats mine stays mine. Step One: Kidnap someone cute. Step Two: Force her into marriage. Step Three: Try not to catch feelings. When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets

A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realm’s most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier.

“What’s mine stays mine.”

Step One: Kidnap someone cute.
Step Two: Force her into marriage.
Step Three: Try not to catch feelings.

When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets is a knife to the throat and a furious woman with demands of her own. He may need her heroic bloodline to achieve ultimate dominion, but she’s not about to make this easy for him.

Arabella has already survived her father’s tower prison and a lifetime of being treated like property. Getting abducted by the realm’s most notorious villain is just another Tuesday. If she must be married to the infuriating (and infuriatingly attractive) Dark Lord, she’ll do it on her terms: freedom within his fortress, hands strictly to himself, and complete honesty about his plans.

But when those plans go awry, Kazimir faces his most terrifying challenge yet: he must date his own wife. Between magical training sessions, playing golf with the eyeballs of his enemies, and aphrodisiac dinners gone spectacularly wrong, his attempts at villainous seduction are failing at every turn.

As Kazimir and Arabella navigate magical explosions and jealous exes, they discover a far more terrifying prospect than war or magical catastrophe: They might actually be falling for each other.

This dark and sexy fantasy romance is perfect for readers who love: a morally gray antihero (who stays that way); a strong heroine who embraces her dark side (she doesn’t need rescuing, thanks); touch her and die trope; hilarious, wicked banter and sizzling spice; one bed/forced proximity; kidnapped bride/forced marriage; and dark humor.

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SKU: 22202415245

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Robin
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 5
Happy Maltese
Color: Red
This is my 5 month old Maltese’s favorite toy! Loves the squeaking and paper like sound!! Stays together with all of his biting and tugging!! Very durable!
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Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2025
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karen
Louisville, US
★★★★★ 5
He likes it
Color: Gray
Cute two pack, crinkles and squeaky, fun toy
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Reviewed in the United States on January 28, 2026
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KIM J.
West Palm Beach, US
★★★★★ 5
Eldestructo Jack
To say my pup loved them was an UNDERSTATEMENT. Within 12 hrs what I bought for 3 dogs has become 1 dogs . He literally has ripped the heads off. I wish a lil more durable but hey he love each one. He is special lil man who can tear anything up.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2026
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S. H.
Lake Worth, US
★★★★★ 5
Holds Up Well So Far – Nice Multi-Texture Toy
We picked up this rope plush for our dog, and overall it’s been a solid addition to the toy bin. The combination of soft plush and rope makes it more interesting than a standard stuffed toy. Our dog likes to chew on the rope sections and carry it around by the neck, and it’s held up better than most plush toys we’ve tried. The stitching seems reinforced in key areas, and even after several play sessions (including some light tug), it hasn’t come apart. That said, the size is something to pay attention to. This seems better suited for small to medium dogs or for supervised play if your dog is rough with toys. Also, while it does have a squeaker, it’s not overly loud, which could be a plus or minus depending on your preference. Overall, it’s a fun, well-designed toy that mixes textures nicely and keeps our dog engaged. Just match it to your dog’s play style and expectations for durability.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 22, 2026
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Cheri Asher
West Palm Beach, US
★★★★★ 1
Terrible product
These made my dog very sick. The chemical smell alone is too much. Should not be aloud for puppies to chew on .
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Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2026

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