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Description
AAWConference Approved Book Written by Women? Not yet. But, our Womens Step Topics Group prepared a new Big Book for women. We found that certain common A. A. suggestions for men are misleading for women. This includes discussions of self forgetting, morality, perfection, and more. For many men, self forgetting is helpful. But women are often caretakers of others and neglect self care, putting ourselves last. I recall one woman shared this: I was worried
Conference-Approved Book Written by Women? Not yet. But, our WomenÕs Step Topics Group prepared a new Big Book for women. We found that certain common A.A. suggestions for men are misleading for women. This includes discussions of self-forgetting, morality, perfection, and more.
For many men, self-forgetting is helpful. But women are often caretakers of others and neglect self-care, putting ourselves last. I recall one woman shared this: ÒI was worried about my (1) sonÕs schoolwork, (2) husbandÕs job, and (3) fatherÕs health. But I have to get less selfish about my problems and get into service for others.Ó
I silently noted that she just mentioned three people that were not her. Many women donÕt recognize themselves, go overboard with service to others, and put themselves last. Self-forgetting is a character defect women must overcome by giving up selfishness or self-will and practicing self-care and self-discovery.
We eliminated the word ÒmoralÓ since there is a double standard for men and women. A man may be a called stud, but a women with that behavior is called a very derogatory name.
Although claiming progress not perfection, the big book often tells us to strive for perfection. Women tend to be perfectionist and self-critical. ÒStriving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.Ó For ÒperfectionÓ, we substituted the word ÒexcellenceÓ.
Among the WomenÕs Step Topics we discuss are:
¥ Perfectionism
¥ Mother Guilt
¥ Surrender not submission
¥ Victims of abuse
¥ Self-critical tendencies
¥ False urges to apologize
¥ What we own and what we don't
¥ Personalizing our prayers
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