SKU: 37703021266

Pornstar Martini

Sale price$43.20 Regular price$48.00
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Description

Pornstar MartiniLadies, gentlemen, and degenerates of exquisite taste behold our Pornstar Martini, a canned bacchanal so utterly excessive, so lusciously unhinged, that it might just wink at you before kissing your sensibilities on the mouth. This is not a drink. This is a performance piece for your mouth. Crafted with glistening precision, this sensorial carnival begins with Specialty distilled Vodka as smooth and silky as a Parisian scandal. We then dive headlong

Ladies, gentlemen, and degenerates of exquisite taste - behold our Pornstar Martini, a canned bacchanal so utterly excessive, so lusciously unhinged, that it might just wink at you before kissing your sensibilities on the mouth. This is not a drink. This is a performance piece for your mouth.

Crafted with glistening precision, this sensorial carnival begins with Specialty distilled Vodka as smooth and silky as a Parisian scandal. We then dive headlong into South American Passionfruit so ripe, so fragrant, it should have its own OnlyFans. But we don’t stop there. Oh no. We drape this tropical hedonism in the rich, velvety embrace of Madagascan Vanilla, a bean so luxurious it’s banned in some Protestant households. And then, just to slap your palate awake, we splash in fresh lime juice, the citrusy lightning bolt that balances the debauchery with a zesty “bonjour, lover.”

But where, you cry, does this nectarous nonsense come from? Step into the stilettoed footsteps of the late, great Douglas Ankrah, the genius mixologist who birthed the Pornstar Martini in early-2000s London. His goal? To make a cocktail as cheeky, lavish, and unforgettable as the nightlife that inspired it. The name? A bold, irreverent homage to the unapologetic glam of the adult film industry - a drink meant to tease, titillate, and make your friends ask, “Wait, what did you just order?”

But here’s the clincher, the true coup de grâce of this decadent darling: it’s traditionally served with a sidecar of Champagne. Why? Because Douglas knew that some desires deserve two parts. The Pornstar Martini is pleasure layered - sip the cocktail, then follow it with a shot of bubbles to cleanse, elevate, and reset your tastebuds for another round of sin. Or chaos. Or both. We don't judge.

Now imagine all that - the drama, the swagger, the gold-dusted luxury - compacted into one of our iconic, award-winning cans. Ready to go wherever your inner diva takes you. Rooftop soirée? Obnoxious hens’ weekend? Solo Tuesday bath cry? It delivers. Cold. Sexy. Consistent. Every. Damn. Time.

And let’s be real: no one drinks a Pornstar Martini for subtlety. This is not a quiet, introspective tipple. This is a strut, a cackle, a pop song played at an inappropriately loud volume. It’s flirty, fruity, and utterly shameless - just like you should be.

So go on, be a little scandalous. Peel back the ring-pull, pour it into a coupe glass (or don't - decadence doesn’t discriminate), serve with a chilled shot of sparkling wine, and channel your inner chaos goblin.

Shipping Notes
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Exchange/Return Notes
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  • Final sale items are not eligible for returns or exchanges.
  • To process your return/exchange, please contact us at [email protected]
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SKU: 37703021266

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4.8 ★★★★★
Based on 14 reviews
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Sam
Omaha, US
★★★★★ 5
Very sturdy toy
Color: Blue
It’s very sturdy and has a surface and handle that allows a dog to grip on for a good tug. It’s also holding up to my very, very aggressive chewer and she’s 80-90 lbs.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2026
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Verified Purchase
Mindy Thegreatest
San Leandro, US
★★★★★ 5
Very durable! Great value!
Color: Green
My dog loves this toy, heavy duty, she has not chewed it up yet!
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Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2026
S
Verified Purchase
S. Carter
Natrona Heights, US
★★★★★ 5
Great dog toy!
Color: Green
This is my third or fourth purchase of the same toy. My 45 lb super chewer dog loves to chew on this and especially likes to play tug of war. He is very rough on toys and most do not last longer than a few weeks. This toy lasts about 2 years - which is amazing considering my dog plays with it every day. Eventually it breaks in half during a tug of war session, but I don’t consider that a flaw or a problem because we definitely get our money’s worth of playtime! I’m happy to buy a new one every couple of years and I will keep buying it as long as it is available.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2023
A
Verified Purchase
Ann
Cuba, US
★★★★★ 5
Still going strong after three months of Doberman teeth!
Color: Green
This was one of the first toys I purchased for my adopted 4 year old Doberman Pinscher. It has been chewed, and chewed, and chewed some more. This is one of his 3 favorite toys when he has to go in his crate. As of yet there are no significant teeth marks, holes, or missing pieces. It is solid rubber, light weight compared to a similar toy he has, and just the right size to carry around in his mouth. He seems to enjoy the sensation the little rubber nubs have on his gums when he chews it. We have also used this toy to play tug of war and fetch for the same reasons listed but also because the neon green color is easy to see especially if the dog gets distracted and leaves it in the yard. When playing fetch the weight of the toy does not lead to rotator cuff surgery with repetitive throwing on the part of the dog's human! When it gets too dirty and slimy for my tolerance, it is easily washed in the laundry room sink with dish detergent and a sponge always returning to its Spic n' Span original appearance. If and when he chews this one up, I will not hesitate to replace it. Top 3 Likes: -Sturdy, holds up to chewing, used as a crate toy as it poses no threat from dislodged pieces -Bright color aids in finding it outside -Comparatively lightweight, easy to throw, and easy to clean Top 3 Disikes: -Potentially an aggressive chewer could dismantle Only 1 dislike!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2024
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Verified Purchase
Kris Raley
Birmingham, US
★★★★★ 1
Cracked and breaking
Color: Green, Color: Green
Not durable
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Reviewed in the United States on May 28, 2026

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