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Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Jul 11 - Jul 16
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Description
The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realms most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier. Whats mine stays mine. Step One: Kidnap someone cute. Step Two: Force her into marriage. Step Three: Try not to catch feelings. When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets
A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realm’s most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier.“What’s mine stays mine.”
Step One: Kidnap someone cute.
Step Two: Force her into marriage.
Step Three: Try not to catch feelings.
When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets is a knife to the throat and a furious woman with demands of her own. He may need her heroic bloodline to achieve ultimate dominion, but she’s not about to make this easy for him.
Arabella has already survived her father’s tower prison and a lifetime of being treated like property. Getting abducted by the realm’s most notorious villain is just another Tuesday. If she must be married to the infuriating (and infuriatingly attractive) Dark Lord, she’ll do it on her terms: freedom within his fortress, hands strictly to himself, and complete honesty about his plans.
But when those plans go awry, Kazimir faces his most terrifying challenge yet: he must date his own wife. Between magical training sessions, playing golf with the eyeballs of his enemies, and aphrodisiac dinners gone spectacularly wrong, his attempts at villainous seduction are failing at every turn.
As Kazimir and Arabella navigate magical explosions and jealous exes, they discover a far more terrifying prospect than war or magical catastrophe: They might actually be falling for each other.
This dark and sexy fantasy romance is perfect for readers who love: a morally gray antihero (who stays that way); a strong heroine who embraces her dark side (she doesn’t need rescuing, thanks); touch her and die trope; hilarious, wicked banter and sizzling spice; one bed/forced proximity; kidnapped bride/forced marriage; and dark humor.
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4.7 ★★★★★
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Great for large chewers
Color: Rubber Chew Toy, Size: Large
Our dogs very favorite toy. I have bought several in all colors. Good quality and it lasted a while even with my strong dogs.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Hard chewer pass!
Color: Rubber Chew Toy, Size: Large
Our dogs love these! They are hard chewers and am impressed they last a decent while. Good for the price!
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Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Airedale tough!
Color: Rubber Chew Toy, Size: Large
We have two young Airedale Terriers and I thought this would be a good inside toy for them to tug. And I was right! Very happily so. I have to admit I was surprised when I first saw it; it seemed so small. But the thing stretches and springs back to shape. We’ve had it about 2 weeks now and it is constantly played with. Absolutely the best toy! Very interactive either alone (it rolls) or with us or they play together. I am surprised how tough it is with all the constant rough play. Highly recommend!!!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2022
★★★★★ 4
Small, but twisty and fun looking. Seems relatively sturdy, though doesn't look indestructible at all.
Color: Rubber Chew Toy, Size: Large
SLIGHTLY disappointed because I thought this was bigger than it is. If you squish it all in close, it's maybe one and a half times the size of a tennis ball. (Of course, the size is probably listed; I think I just assumed, so my fault.) That being said, it's entertainingly twisty and squishy, though the rubber seems relatively sturdy. I'm not yet positive if it will hold up to the 8 month retriever/lab mix it's intended for; he tends to rip instantly through anything much less sturdy than kong natural rubber. But it seems like something that will amuse him, so we're going to give it a shot at Christmas.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 7, 2014
★★★★★ 5
Great product!
Color: Rubber Chew Toy, Size: Large
My dog is an aggressive chewer. I have bought this 3 times for her she loves to play tug and fetch with it. They last longer than most of the other toys I get her and it’s one of her favorites.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2025
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